A couple days ago we had the abdominal viscera prac in anatomy lab, first time I saw a full cadaver, full human body lying on the table.
During the lab I was fine, actually quiet excited to learn all the structures. I was under some extent of peer pressure to answer the questions tutor throwed at us, so I didn’t think much.
However, right now, at 2 am in the morning, I couldn’t sleep. I can almost smell the lab, it was a very strong odour, it’s not purely chemical, mixing with some organic sense, I’ve never smelled anything similar before. When the tutor ruffled through the organs, the smell got stronger, deeper and just rushed into my brain.
I can’t seem to shake it off.
I smelled at my sheets, fresh and soapy. I closed my eyes, I saw the wet tower covering the face of the cadavar, and I smelled it.
Everybody dies, I will die, I am dying.
Tomorrow I’m gonna eat a whole kebab I always want to, but don’t allow myself because I need to squish into that pair of jeans.
Tomorrow I’m gonna send out that email for my research project which I kept procrastinating because I was too afraid to get a rejection.
Tomorrow I’m gonna put myself on a dating App, I’m in my last year of 20s, will everything truly go down hill after 30?
I don’t care, nothing worse than that smell. I put my hand on my chest, warm, throbbing, there is a heartbeat.
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